Unwanted pregnancies are miracle babies too...

I have noticed an interesting trend in my browsing of online mothering forums. There is a tendency for people to use the term "angel babies" for any pregnancy that ends in a miscarriage. One woman listed eleven angel babies before her "miracle baby" was born. How sad.

What makes my heart break even more is the terms with which babies of the same gestational age are described on pro-choice forums. They are called "fetuses" or the even more clinical "unplanned" or "unwanted pregnancies."

However, the one term they have stopped using is the term "unwanted child" because it is simply not true. Once the "fetus" is born and they have to recognize it as a "child," there is no denying that it is wanted! I recently read that there are currently 1.5 million American families wanting to adopt a child. A few days ago, my mom was telling me that there is a couple in her church with whom a baby is placed until its adoption is finalized. The woman told my mom that there are five hundred couples lined up to adopt the child. Five hundred!!! Simply because it is a healthy newborn.

It was never our intention to adopt a healthy newborn. Mostly because we feel that those babies should be adopted by infertile couples who might never otherwise get to experience raising and loving a child from birth. We were never on a long wait list for years waiting for Buddy. As I've said before, God brought him to us and his birthmom chose us to adopt him.

All this being said, it makes me feel so grateful and humbled that God chose us to parent Buddy--our miracle baby #4 whom God has entrusted to us on this earth for as long as He sees fit. And...I just have to add, in my opinion, all four of our children are miracle babies--whether they came to us through home birth or heart birth. :)

(Ironically, our first three children were "unplanned" pregnancies as well. So, all four of our children were the result of "unplanned pregnancies." That definitely did not make them unwanted! Each and every one was "wanted" by God before we even knew of their existence, and wanted by us as soon as we found out!!)

Something else that never ceases to amaze me is the strength and courage it took for Buddy's birthmom to continue her "unwanted pregnancy" despite pressure from numerous abortion and mental health counselors to terminate his little life.

We had the privilege of spending lots of time with Buddy's birthmom throughout her pregnancy, and in the last two months before Buddy's birth it was not particularly easy for her. She endured the sleepless nights, leg cramps, stretch marks, weight gain, mood swings and labor pains that all of us who've completed a pregnancy have experienced...with one exception: she did not bring home a baby.

She chose the hardest and the most selfless of her three choices. She will forever be my hero.

Many in the pro-choice camp might say that the pain of loss she experienced and the sacrifices she had to make in completing her pregnancy and giving birth to a baby are good reasons to abort in the first place. However, I say that I hope the joy and pride she feels in seeing her baby growing healthy and happy--surrounded by those who love him--far outweighs the pain she suffered. Also, who is to say that she would not have been one of the many for whom their past abortion haunts them with guilt for the rest of their lives?

I used to steer clear of the abortion debate because I hate conflict. But now that I have my own little "near-casualty" of the pro-choice movement I feel much more strongly pro-life.

After all, he could have just been another line crossed off an abortion doctor's list.

45 life lessons

Here's something a friend posted on my face.book page today that I thought was worth rereading regularly, so I'll post it here so I can find it again. :)

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio



"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested
column I've ever written.



My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:



1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.


2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.


3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.


4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.


5. Pay off your credit cards every month.


6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.


8. Its OK to get angry with God. He can take it.


9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.


10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.


11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.


17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.


18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.


19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.


20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.


21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.


23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.


24. The most important sex organ is the brain.


25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.


26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'


27. Always choose life.


28. Forgive everyone everything.


29 What other people think of you is none of your business.


30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.


31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.


32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.


33. Believe in miracles.


34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.


35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.


36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.


37. Your children get only one childhood.


38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.


39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.


40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.


41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.


42. The best is yet to come...


43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.


44. Yield.


45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."


 
So true!!