Psalm 37:4-6

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Buddy's Story - part 1

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb... Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Ps. 139:13-14

Buddy's story begins when he was conceived in early February of this year.  Even though it was not in a loving, happy situation, we know that God saw...God knew...and God had a plan...

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. Ps 139:15-16

Out of respect for the privacy of Buddy's birthmom and the fact that we will share with Buddy the circumstances surrounding his entrance to this world when we see fit, we will suffice it to say that his birthmom escaped from a very scary and sad situation and arrived in an Oregon town near to our own in early May.

At this time she was homeless, destitute, desperately scared and in need of counseling and medication for her debilitating mental illness. Every place she went to find help, she was strongly counseled to have an abortion. She made an appointment at an abortion clinic in Portland, Oregon. When she went in to her appointment, she saw an ultrasound picture and walked out without going through with the procedure.  She soon scheduled a second appointment to have an abortion. At this time, she happened to visit a church and go forward at an altar call. There was a woman there who counseled her who was in a Forgiven and Set Free Bible study for those who have undergone an abortion. She contacted a woman who was a part of that Bible study named Cindy. As one who had grieved and struggled for many years following an abortion, Cindy was very involved in helping counsel young women who struggle after having an abortion.

Hearing that C. had an abortion scheduled for the next day, Cindy contacted her and asked if she could meet with her. They went out to eat and Cindy shared with C. her story. Cindy told C. she was willing to help in any way--she would even drive her to the clinic, but she could not go in with her. She told C. she would come before the taxi arrived in the morning and see what C. wanted to do. When she showed up in the morning, C. had decided against the abortion. Cindy took her out to breakfast, then to the Pregnancy Resource Center in town to show her the support available to her.

Several days later, C. had to go into a clinic for an exam. Cindy took her and waited in the lobby. When C. came out, she told Cindy she had changed her mind again and wanted an abortion. Cindy told her she would follow through with her promise and take her to the clinic in Portland. C. borrowed Cindy's phone to call the clinic and set up an appointment. At this point, she was 13 weeks along and the clinic told her she had two options--she could have the procedure with some pain immediately or schedule an appointment with another clinic that would put her completely under for the procedure, but it would take a couple of weeks for them to process her paperwork and get her in. She asked them how much it hurt. They told her hardly at all--"just like a pinch." (Hmmm???)

C. got off the phone and told Cindy she didn't want to make an immediate decision. Three days later she called Cindy and told her she had changed her mind again and wanted to keep the baby. Around this time, Cindy showed her the profile of a family wanting to adopt from her church. C. decided adoption sounded like a good option for her. She asked Cindy to help her find an adoptive family for her child.

This is where we come into the story. I can't remember if I've shared how we came to decide to adopt, but here it is again...

Early on in our marriage, we had talked about wanting to adopt. We were financially stable and it seemed that life on a farm was perfect for raising kids. After our first two kids came one right after the other, we decided to take a break for a couple of years. :) When the time was right to have another baby, we didn't get pregnant right away like we had with the others. After several months of trying, we decided maybe God was saying this was our chance to adopt. We started the paperwork process to adopt from Ethiopia. We had just completed and sent off our dossier (the legal packet of paperwork) to Ethiopia at the end of January when we discovered we were pregnant. Our agency put our adoption on hold per their policy until our baby was six months old. It may seem strange that God had us start the adoption process when we were going to be pregnant so soon and find out about Buddy's birthmom soon after that, but now looking back we realize we probably would not have been ready to adopt if we had not already started the process. God's timing is always perfect. (Note: we still plan to adopt from Ethiopia in the future--our file is still active with our agency. :)

In early May, I had a little extra time on my hands while in town shopping, and I dropped in at a thrift store I frequently browse at. I didn't have anything in particular I was looking for, and I remember just purchasing a little pair of baby boy shoes (we had already discovered we were having a boy.) As I was buying them, I struck up a conversation with the owner as I had frequently done in the past. As I was turning to leave, she said, "You know, you seem like a very nice person with lots of good connections. Let me tell you about this girl who has decided to give up her baby for adoption..."

She proceded to tell me about C., whom she had met when she came into her store with Cindy earlier. She asked if she could give me Cindy's number so that I could find someone willing to adopt C.'s baby. I agreed--amazingly not even thinking about us adopting the baby (after all, we were pregnant and still on the wait list for an Ethiopian adoption!) However, I figured for sure I could find someone interested in adopting this baby in our community.

When I got home, I casually mentioned to FarmDad my experience at the thrift store. He immediately urged me to call Cindy. He said, "What if God is asking us to adopt this baby?" I was shocked--I hadn't even thought of that, but I agreed to call her.

I called and chatted with Cindy for a while. She told me C.'s story and I told her about our family. She told me she would like to meet with us and we agreed.

On May 26th, we met with Cindy at a coffee shop. She told us more of C.'s story and said she had specifically been looking for a family who lived in a rural setting, because research has shown that children of parents with the mental illnesses that C. suffers from are less likely to inherit those same illnesses if they grow up in a rural lifestyle. We told her that we had prayed about the whole situation and we felt that if God lead us in this direction, we would follow him wherever he took us. Cindy told us she was going to stop looking for any more potential adoptive families and that she would be praying that this baby would grow up "on a farm in (our town)" :)

We kept in touch with Cindy for the next month. During that time, we met with C. She asked us lots of questions and we gave her a written profile telling all about our family. She later told Cindy she liked us and wanted us to adopt her baby.

At the end of June, we met with an attorney to begin the process of an open adoption--which was C.'s wishes. We were excited about being able to complete an open adoption, as we had read about its benefits for adopted children.

To be continued... :)

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