Psalm 37:4-6

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Unwanted pregnancies are miracle babies too...

I have noticed an interesting trend in my browsing of online mothering forums. There is a tendency for people to use the term "angel babies" for any pregnancy that ends in a miscarriage. One woman listed eleven angel babies before her "miracle baby" was born. How sad.

What makes my heart break even more is the terms with which babies of the same gestational age are described on pro-choice forums. They are called "fetuses" or the even more clinical "unplanned" or "unwanted pregnancies."

However, the one term they have stopped using is the term "unwanted child" because it is simply not true. Once the "fetus" is born and they have to recognize it as a "child," there is no denying that it is wanted! I recently read that there are currently 1.5 million American families wanting to adopt a child. A few days ago, my mom was telling me that there is a couple in her church with whom a baby is placed until its adoption is finalized. The woman told my mom that there are five hundred couples lined up to adopt the child. Five hundred!!! Simply because it is a healthy newborn.

It was never our intention to adopt a healthy newborn. Mostly because we feel that those babies should be adopted by infertile couples who might never otherwise get to experience raising and loving a child from birth. We were never on a long wait list for years waiting for Buddy. As I've said before, God brought him to us and his birthmom chose us to adopt him.

All this being said, it makes me feel so grateful and humbled that God chose us to parent Buddy--our miracle baby #4 whom God has entrusted to us on this earth for as long as He sees fit. And...I just have to add, in my opinion, all four of our children are miracle babies--whether they came to us through home birth or heart birth. :)

(Ironically, our first three children were "unplanned" pregnancies as well. So, all four of our children were the result of "unplanned pregnancies." That definitely did not make them unwanted! Each and every one was "wanted" by God before we even knew of their existence, and wanted by us as soon as we found out!!)

Something else that never ceases to amaze me is the strength and courage it took for Buddy's birthmom to continue her "unwanted pregnancy" despite pressure from numerous abortion and mental health counselors to terminate his little life.

We had the privilege of spending lots of time with Buddy's birthmom throughout her pregnancy, and in the last two months before Buddy's birth it was not particularly easy for her. She endured the sleepless nights, leg cramps, stretch marks, weight gain, mood swings and labor pains that all of us who've completed a pregnancy have experienced...with one exception: she did not bring home a baby.

She chose the hardest and the most selfless of her three choices. She will forever be my hero.

Many in the pro-choice camp might say that the pain of loss she experienced and the sacrifices she had to make in completing her pregnancy and giving birth to a baby are good reasons to abort in the first place. However, I say that I hope the joy and pride she feels in seeing her baby growing healthy and happy--surrounded by those who love him--far outweighs the pain she suffered. Also, who is to say that she would not have been one of the many for whom their past abortion haunts them with guilt for the rest of their lives?

I used to steer clear of the abortion debate because I hate conflict. But now that I have my own little "near-casualty" of the pro-choice movement I feel much more strongly pro-life.

After all, he could have just been another line crossed off an abortion doctor's list.

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